Educate Yourself!
Take the time to learn about LGBTQIA+ identities, history, and the challenges faced by the community. Don’t rely on LGBTQIA+ people to teach you. It’s much more supportive to be proactive. Take the time to understand terminology, the spectrum of identities, and learn about (and use!) the pronouns each person prefers.
Listen and Validate
Be an active listener. LGBTQIA+ people will have different experiences to people who are straight. If an LGBTQIA+ person shares their experience or feelings with you: show empathy and validate them. Their experiences might not be familiar to you, and it might be uncomfortable to know someone you care about is experiencing this. It’s important to avoid minimising or dismissing their struggles. Be thankful that they have trusted you with that information.
Use People’s Correct Pronouns
Always use the pronouns someone says that they want you to use for them. (For example: she/her, he/him, or they/them.) It’s a way of showing respect and politeness, and making other people feel comfortable. If you make a mistake with someone’s pronouns, just make a quick apology (for example “oops, sorry”), correct yourself, and move on. If we make a mistake, we can be tempted to do a big apology to show that we care, but that focuses on the misgendering, and your feelings about yourself as a good person. It’s better to apologise briefly and be mindful about the person’s pronouns going forward.
Challenge Discrimination
It you witness homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, or other forms of discrimination: speak up! This could be in person, online, or in policy. Do not remain silent. Allyship is all about using your voice to challenge discriminatory behaviour and language – so that the group experiencing the most harm doesn’t have to also do all the work.
Respect Boundaries
It’s natural to be curious about topics we don’t know lots about, but it’s also important to make sure we don’t make other people uncomfortable. Try to avoid asking overly personal questions about someone's identity, body, or relationships. Let LGBTQIA+ people share what they feel comfortable sharing on their own terms. If you’re not sure if a question is OK, first ask yourself: would I feel comfortable if someone asked me this about my identity, body or relationships?
Use Inclusive Language
We can all use language that doesn’t assume someone’s gender identity or sexual orientation. For example, if you don’t know the terms someone prefers, then instead of ‘boyfriend or girlfriend’ we could say ‘partner’. Instead of saying ‘husband or wife’ we could say ‘spouse’. Instead of ‘son or daughter’ we could say ‘child’. This helps both to include both non-binary people (who don’t identify with any gender) and it also helps avoid ‘outing’ someone who might not feel safe or comfortable coming out to everyone around them.
Support LGBTQIA+ Spaces and Businesses
Promote and support queer-owned businesses, organisations, and events. Looking to get some Christmas gifts this year? Then why not buy directly from a local LGBTQIA+ artist or business. Be mindful when entering queer spaces and events that they are special spaces built for LGBTQIA+ communities, and be respectful.
Advocate for Equal Rights
Advocate for policies and laws that protect LGBTQIA+ people from discrimination, whether in the workplace, healthcare, or broader society. Even small actions, like signing petitions, can make a big difference. Allyship is all about using your own position to support people experiencing disadvantages that you are not. The reason this is so important is that people – all of us – make up societal norms. If the status quo isn’t fair: you can help change it!
Celebrate and Amplify LGBTQIA+ Voices
Share the stories, art, and achievements of LGBTQIA+ people. Celebrate Pride and other milestones in ways that honour their significance. Be mindful when attending queer spaces and events that they are built for LGBTQIA+ communities. Be respectful, listen and learn.
Acknowledge and Check Your Privilege
Recognise the privilege you may hold and how it differs from the experiences of LGBTQIA+ people. Having privilege in one situation doesn’t mean you have a better or easier life overall: we all have lots of different facets to our identities. In situations where we have privilege, we can use it to support others with less privilege. If you’re straight, you can use that privilege to influence and create spaces where queer people feel safe, heard, and supported.
Attend demonstrations, protests and talks
Attend marches and demonstrations, such as London Trans+ Pride to show your solidarity with LGBTQIA+ communities. There is strength in numbers, and LGBTQIA+ folks have never needed cisgender, heterosexual allies more!
Stay Informed and Committed
LGBTQIA+ rights have come a long way, but it’s taken a long time and work and many years. We still have a lot more work to do, especially to support trans and non-binary people having equal rights and equal safety to everyone else. Make sure that you actively continue your work as an ally to keep learning, listening, standing up for people’s rights, and take action to support LGBTQIA+ folks. Being an ally means more than attending a Pride march once, it means having people’s backs 365 days a year. We need you. Thank you!