Intimate scenes in films and porn can set an expectation for how sex is meant to be. What we choose to watch, or not watch, can affect our views and actions on sex. This can be influenced by how we are already feeling and go on to influence how we then feel. We rarely see people ask for consent before a romantic kiss and it's even rarer that we see the discussions about sex that take place before, during or after sex.
Reminding ourselves that expectations in media and porn are unrealistic can help us to feel less anxious when things don’t go as smoothly as we might have seen. Seeing sexualised images that you weren’t prepared to see, whether that’s through social media or through unwanted pop-ups on websites, can also create feelings of anxiety and pressure to look or express sexuality in a particular way.
Consuming sex-positive and inclusive educational content can help to navigate unrealistic expectations. This might look like accessing sexual health information from websites such as:
If you choose to watch porn, paying for porn from ethical sites can be more realistic. There are also audio erotica podcasts and paid sites that are available.